Hello Yolanda
I am 23. I have a 5 year old child. The child's father and I are not together anymore. I am a single parent, and helped every now and then by my sister. I have a great job, and I completed my diploma two years ago.
Nevertheless, dating has been very daunting, especially with my child. I have been with guys and the moment I am honest about my child, they disappear.
But I recently met a guy and he says he loves kids. I have not introduced my new boyfriend to my child, but that is not the problem.
I found a bra at his place. He claimed that it is his cousins bra, apparently the cousin came to wash his blankets. But I am not stupid. This has made me very insecure. I spoke to him about it and all he said was that I should not worry.
But I am worried. What do you think I should do?
Side Chick
Hi Side Chick,
It is funny that you have already dubbed yourself the 'side chick'. All because of a bra....hmmm.
I cannot tell you what to do. But you are right, you should not be stupid. You see, as a woman we all know some womanly tricks. And the bra trick is one of the traditional ones.
"Oops I left my bra at your place....under the bed". But you should not be quick to jump to these conclusions. Do you like this guy and does he like you? Or are you fishing for clues to whether or not he wants you?
You need to understand that, getting into a relationship is about knowing someone. It is a new relationship, learn to know him. And the fact that he loves children does not mean that he will love yours.
Personally, I think you should be honest about your child from the beginning, so that you do not waste your time as well as his. Plus, your child should not be added to this, at all.
However, lets assume there is another chick.
Here is a lesson for you:
Insecure or nasty women always leave something to either mark their territory or show that "I WAS HERE". They do this with either an underwear or a bra.
Also, some men are very skilled at ensuring that all evidence of another woman is disposed of. But other men, aren't as skilled.
Many thoughts but nothing really clear.
My advice to you is, if you are feeling insecure about this guy do the following:
1. Do not introduce him to your child, you do not want to expose your child to so many men. Unless you and the man date for years and make plans of getting married.
2. Make sure you always wear a condom, who knows, next time his cousin might leave an underwear.
3. You can Break up with him. But chances are, something even bigger will happen with the next boyfriend. You not even sure if you are a side chick. It really might be his cousins bra (Who knows? Besides him and the bra owner)
4. Take it easy with the boyfriends. Maybe you need to know yourself better. You became a mother at an age where people are still trying to get to know themselves.
So 'Side Chick'... He isn't the one who has put you aside, you have put yourself on the side. You seem like a special woman. So learn to love yourself, learn to know your worth. If you do not believe your child was a mistake, no guy should make you feel shame for having him.
I am 23. I have a 5 year old child. The child's father and I are not together anymore. I am a single parent, and helped every now and then by my sister. I have a great job, and I completed my diploma two years ago.
Nevertheless, dating has been very daunting, especially with my child. I have been with guys and the moment I am honest about my child, they disappear.
But I recently met a guy and he says he loves kids. I have not introduced my new boyfriend to my child, but that is not the problem.
I found a bra at his place. He claimed that it is his cousins bra, apparently the cousin came to wash his blankets. But I am not stupid. This has made me very insecure. I spoke to him about it and all he said was that I should not worry.
But I am worried. What do you think I should do?
Side Chick
Hi Side Chick,
It is funny that you have already dubbed yourself the 'side chick'. All because of a bra....hmmm.
I cannot tell you what to do. But you are right, you should not be stupid. You see, as a woman we all know some womanly tricks. And the bra trick is one of the traditional ones.
"Oops I left my bra at your place....under the bed". But you should not be quick to jump to these conclusions. Do you like this guy and does he like you? Or are you fishing for clues to whether or not he wants you?
You need to understand that, getting into a relationship is about knowing someone. It is a new relationship, learn to know him. And the fact that he loves children does not mean that he will love yours.
Personally, I think you should be honest about your child from the beginning, so that you do not waste your time as well as his. Plus, your child should not be added to this, at all.
However, lets assume there is another chick.
Here is a lesson for you:
Insecure or nasty women always leave something to either mark their territory or show that "I WAS HERE". They do this with either an underwear or a bra.
Also, some men are very skilled at ensuring that all evidence of another woman is disposed of. But other men, aren't as skilled.
Many thoughts but nothing really clear.
My advice to you is, if you are feeling insecure about this guy do the following:
1. Do not introduce him to your child, you do not want to expose your child to so many men. Unless you and the man date for years and make plans of getting married.
2. Make sure you always wear a condom, who knows, next time his cousin might leave an underwear.
3. You can Break up with him. But chances are, something even bigger will happen with the next boyfriend. You not even sure if you are a side chick. It really might be his cousins bra (Who knows? Besides him and the bra owner)
4. Take it easy with the boyfriends. Maybe you need to know yourself better. You became a mother at an age where people are still trying to get to know themselves.
So 'Side Chick'... He isn't the one who has put you aside, you have put yourself on the side. You seem like a special woman. So learn to love yourself, learn to know your worth. If you do not believe your child was a mistake, no guy should make you feel shame for having him.
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